Something I’ve been practising or at least trying recently is to be really honest with myself. It’s part of this year’s theme to get to know myself better. And so far this is one of the most important realisations.
We lie to ourselves because it’s so much easier to remain ignorant and fool ourselves. People like easy things, and it’s almost as if programmed in us. Being completely honest with yourself is often uncomfortable and even scary. Truth can hurt, and even more, when you know it’s the truth but been hiding it from yourself.
With time it creates blocks.
I was inspired by Shaman Durek and Jordan Younger and the podcast they did together. It wasn’t exactly what they were talking about but something about that episode made me ask myself. Am I being honest with myself?
The answer was no. There are a lot of things in my mind that I’ve been trying to hide from myself. Like that’s ever worked for anyone. It was very interesting to realise this. More importantly to tell myself that there is no reason to hide things from myself. I told myself that I will accept whatever deep sh*it I find there.
When you think of something that you feel stuck with or unhappy with. Ask yourself what it’s really about? Ask yourself honestly what is really upsetting you. You don’t need to say it to anyone, you don’t need to necessarily do anything about it, just honestly answer your question.
When there is something upsetting, or something you don’t want to accept, like the bitter truth, we just shove it deep in our unconscious minds. And when we are stuck in traffic having a mental breakdown, we think we are angry because we will be late for work, or whatever. While actually, we should ask ourselves what it’s really about? This has just triggered that pain that’s hiding.
It’s not always about some painful childhood memory. If you just pay attention to how honest you are to yourself, it’s so freeing. You can always answer your own questions. It’s like having a brutally honest best friend always on hand. And that’s what we often need.
So to free yourself from your own lies
ask yourself questions
go really deep into it
write it down if that’s easier for you
tell yourself that you will accept any truth
decide later if you want to do something about it (it’s sometimes good enough that you are aware of the truth)
know that it will free you